my own personal hypocrisies

Aug. 11th, 2025 04:36 pm
mellowtigger: (lowered expectations)
[personal profile] mellowtigger

I intended to write about Trump-related stuff today, but there's just too much news now. There's little point in continuing the laundry list. It has become quite clear that citizens in the USA live in different realities. Why argue facts with any group whose leader actually ends fact-finding projects, fires fact-finding people, deletes past factual data, and just rewrites information as whims demand?

So... I focus inward instead? I still see absurdities, but maybe I can do something about my own failings. I've come up with this list of what I find as my own current personal hypocrisies of behavior.

Click to read the 4 items...

  1. I make continuing efforts to reduce my daily household plastic exposure, then twice a day I spray nasal drugs from plastic bottles up into my nose within easy reach of my brain. Tired of plastic in the brain? Here's some more! Good luck, brain.

  2. I tout the joys of having a "wild" yard instead of grass, but I haven't been tending it properly. I may have done an even worse job of it this year than last year. I'm just so very tired all of the time since starting this current job 2 years ago. I don't want to set a bad example that convinces the city to stop supporting Lawns2Legumes efforts like my yard has been. I want to be proud of it, but it's just a mess right now. I'm not doing well at something that I like and encourage others to do.

  3. I encourage renewable energy use, and I even subscribed to wind-sourced energy from Xcel. Then I run the window a/c unit upstairs nearly constantly, and I set it lower than it normally would be to cool just a single bedroom, because I need that cold air to fall downstairs and cool the rest of the house like where I work every day too. It's just not ideal. I just subscribed to an AI service too, if only temporarily to test it out. I know full well that AI energy usage is driving very bad trends. MIT says that "AI alone could consume as much electricity annually as 22% of all US households."

  4. I keep writing here that I intend to write less of the gloom and more of the hopeful stuff and at least more of the science stuff like I used to do in the past. Do I ever get around to it? Do I? UGH!

It was clear at work today that the summer slowdown is over. The new semester starts soon. We've got about 1 more week until the blackout dates when managers do not approve any vacation time, because we need all hands on the proverbial deck. I soon will have even less energy for all the things that I ought to be doing in order to live up to my own expectations for myself.

But Trump... ugh.

game: Tiny Bookshop

Aug. 10th, 2025 07:07 pm
mellowtigger: joystick (gaming)
[personal profile] mellowtigger

Today, after work, I played a demo for game on Steam. It's called Tiny Bookshop. Surprisingly, it has a native Linux version, so I didn't even have to turn on Proton for it to run on my computer. It plays well with keyboard/mouse, but it looks like it would do great on the Steam Deck too.

Instead of a little free library (paging [personal profile] threemeninaboat), you manage a tiny for-profit bookstore. Your store is on a trailer behind your car. Each day, you read the newspaper to buy new inventory or items. The events you read about in the newspaper might convince you to visit a different location in town the next day to sell more books. The items you buy can boost or reduce sales of different genres of books, and you decorate both inside and outside your tiny bookshop. There's a journal that automatically records important details for you, which helps you keep track of things like which city locations sell which book genres more frequently.

Visitors to your tiny bookshop sometimes ask for your help to find a book. They describe what they're looking for. You click on each book on your shelf (genres are color-coded, so you don't have to click every book in the store) to find if something matches. If you find a great match and recommend it to them, you can even get a big boost for all sales that day. If not, they'll come back another day, and you can try to stock something overnight that might work better for them.

The free demo version of the game lets you play only 2 game days, then it ends. But that's plenty of time to see some of the mechanics in use in the game. I think the whole thing is nice. I found it enjoyable and... quaint? It's nice to play games that are entirely non-combat. It's 10% off from regular price on Steam right now, thanks to the Wholesome Games sales now through August 14th.

what blog post is iconically "me"?

Aug. 9th, 2025 08:49 pm
mellowtigger: (artificial intelligence)
[personal profile] mellowtigger

After work today, I signed up for the Eternos.life service, at the cheapest level. It's the AI platform that I mentioned back in April, because they offer a service to create a digital avatar of yourself. I'm just too curious. I want very much to experience it.

I recorded a 30-second speech from a script prompted by the website, then I recorded a 90-second script. After just those 2 minutes of sample audio, it started saying new things back to me in my own voice and inflections. Before I can share a link for other people to interact with it too, I need to train it on "Datasets". Those datasets are texts and supporting documents (images, videos, audio, etc.) about something in particular as a full story, up to 7000 characters each. Their prompting text is this:

"Enter your story or insight here in first person point of view. For example; My first experience with school was kindergarten at Shelter Rock Elementary School in Manhasset, NY. I was there through 6th grade and my first memory of that school was... You can use the SCRUB button at any time to correct spelling and grammar!"

I asked the AI Assistant if it can import from a blog. Unfortunately, it cannot. It did write, "However, you can manually input the content from your blog into the training tool as datasets!"

So... I have no idea what stories to tell it. Is there any blog post that you associate most with "me"? I figured I could try one of the antifa ("Be like Wonder Woman. Be antifa.") posts. But they seem to be prompting for biographical information? What questions should I answer for the AI that would enable it to speak "as me"? I have no clue.

it has been a week

Aug. 8th, 2025 09:48 pm
mellowtigger: (Default)
[personal profile] mellowtigger

We are still short-handed on the weekend shift, so I continued working Saturday and Sunday. I took vacation time for Monday-Wednesday, though. I intended to do some yard work, but I got almost none of it done. The day that I went outside and tried to clean up the front yard a bit, I came back inside afterward and slept for about 2 hours when I sat down in the living room chair for a few minutes to cool off. I'm just so tired all of the time, it seems. Even today, I laid down in bed around 5pm, thinking I'd take a quick nap. I woke up 3 hours later. Exhausted, after a busy day of doing not much of anything.

I accomplished a few things this week, at least. On Wednesday afternoon, I did the interview for the lead position on my team at work. That night, I got almost no sleep. I went to bed at 10am, and I saw every hour on the clock until 7am except the hours of 1am, 5am, and 6am. My brain just wouldn't shut off, replaying questions and answers from the interview. I dislike interviews so very much.

I also went to another emergency dental appointment on Thursday morning. To review quickly, I busted that tooth a few years ago, then I busted the repair work, and recently I've busted 2 temporary caps on it. Ugh. I get the permanent metal cap in 2 more weeks. Apparently these days, caps are custom fit to molds they took of what remains of this tooth. I hope I can go 2 more weeks without doing any more damage to it.

After the last dental appointment, I rode the bus past my house northward to the Colonial Market to get a burrito bowl to take home for lunch. I walked past 4 police cars at the store entrance, with officers searching the nearby ground for evidence of something. Apparently it wasn't store related, though, just the neighborhood being what it is.

And, finally, this morning I woke up to another dream.

I don't remember the early part of the dream, but I had a "splinter" in my hand that was annoying me. I went to the bathroom in front of the mirror and tried opening up the wound where it was. I saw a dark line of something that was bent in a semi-circular loop. I thought that was weird, a splinter curling around that way instead of just going straight in. I used a needle to pluck at the top of the loop and pull it out of me. It came out thicker than expected. I put aside the needle and used my other hand to pull it out. It became clear that it was not wood or metal but was a worm of some kind. I got about a finger's length out of me, then it started wriggling. My hand was too slippery from the blood/fluid, and I lost my hold as it started worming its way back into my wound. I felt emotions at this experience, and emotions are bad for thinking, so I woke up.

Clearly, that dream was related to the actual splinter that has been bothering me all week. It's in my left foot, though. On the first day, when I couldn't find what was in my foot, I put some medication on it and put an unusually large band-aid on it, thinking it would help stick to that spot as I walked on it. That night, I forgot about the bandage and removed my socks before getting into bed. The next day, I thought, "What is that sensation on my back?" I felt around and removed what turned out to be that band-aid from my foot. That was a rough night's sleep, apparently?

2 dreams of 4

Aug. 3rd, 2025 06:55 am
mellowtigger: (Default)
[personal profile] mellowtigger

What's with all of the dreams lately?

Click to read about 2 dreams...

Friday night/Saturday morning, I had several dreams, but I'm remembering only one of them now.

I was attending a university. Some other stuff happened that I don't remember now. There was another student (a black man that I don't know in real life) who wanted to study with me for an upcoming exam, thinking that I knew the material. Surprise, I didn't! I was trying to distract him from his study goal, because I couldn't even remember in which building I had a locker where I kept my books, as if it was high school instead of college. Trying to picture the locker, I also couldn't remember the combination for the lock on the door. I knew this kind of self-destructive behavior was bad. It reminded me of the last time I had that kind of burnout, in real college. I had emotions about that realization/memory. Emotions are bad for thinking, so it woke me up.

I was awake about an hour before falling asleep again. I had 2 more dreams before I woke up to an alarm for work. I almost never have multiple dreams that I know about upon waking. I remember nothing about those extra dreams now, though.

Last night, I had another dream.

I was at some kind of theme park with Carl. We went through the entrance, picked up pamphlets about the park, and we went to an indoors exhibit. (I don't remember what it was.) We decided next for an outdoor exhibit, riding some elephants or something. As we left the indoor exhibit, Carl got a weird look on his face. I knew his AIDS drugs were bothering him again. He went off alone to the restroom to deal with either nausea or diarrhea. (Like he did during the Star Trek: Generations film we watched in the theater in 1994. I can always place the year we were dating because of this event.)

We went outdoors. I opened some other pamphlet and got caught up in reading it. When I looked up, Carl was in line for the animal ride with 2 other couples, 1 gay male couple and 1 lesbian couple. There were only 2 other people in line between me and them, and my group was waving me to join them quickly in line. I got into the queue, but by the time I walked through the maze, I realized there were a lot of people between us. I didn't want to "cut in line" since that's against the rules.

Eventually, I got up near the front of the queue. The 5 of them were seated as the next group in line to get on an animal. There was some sort of barrier between where they were sitting and the seats for the rest of us. I wandered around and found a back row somewhere to sit. I looked over, and I'm right next to their group, with no barrier between us. Carl is missing again, and I presume he found another restroom he needed to use. The others are waving me to join them. I dare to walk over to them and sit in an empty seat near them. I kept wondering how we would all fit, since each group had a limited number of spots to sit in the howdah contraption on the animal's back, and my presence now pushed them over that limit by 1 person. These were some kind of elephants, but huge dinosaur-sized ones, capable of seating 20 people at once. This waiting area was 3 or 4 stories in the air, to be at a level to step onto the howdah.

I napped briefly. When I woke up, their group was gone, and new people were seated around me waiting their turn for the animal ride. I knew I had missed them and wondered why they didn't wake me up. I thought I'd use my cell phone to text Carl that I was going to skip waiting for the ride, and I'd meet them outside this ride. I had emotions about that too, and emotions are bad for thinking, so I woke up.

I don't usually spend time thinking about people. It's unusual that Carl should show up again in my dreams.

mellowtigger: (Default)
[personal profile] mellowtigger

I slept about 10 hours last night. It's nice to catch up on missed sleep.

I've had photos from the neighborhood that I've kept for a few months without posting. Here's that chance finally. There's nothing "major", but plenty of minor things I found of interest.

Click to see ten photos (click photos to enlarge) and read about some of my walks in the neighborhood...

I live on Morgan Avenue in north Minneapolis. Here are some signs that were on Morgan near my house. Someone defaced stop signs to say either "Stop Israel" or "Stop Cops". The fire station in the background of that first photo is the one I mentioned that has the 24-hour opioid addiction recovery office.
stop sign "Stop Israel" in north Minneapolis, Morgan and Lowry stop sign "Stop Cops" in north Minneapolis, Morgan and 29th

Also a kind of rainbow flag for the Minnesota Lynx, a local basketball team of women. This flag is about a block away. It is the only rainbow flag of any kind that I know of in my neighborhood.
rainbow flag, Minnesota Lynx, basketball, women's team

When I walk to the University of Minnesota Physicians clinic near my house, I see some interesting signs.... like Communist organizing posters on a street pole. I agree with the "Down with the two parties" message. I think I'm not, however, a communist, although I think we might actually be developing technology that would make such a system workable.
sign "Down with the two parties, join the communists!" in north Minneapolis at Penn and 26th sign "Are you a Communist? Then get organized!" in north Minneapolis at Penn and 26th

Across the street from those signs is this new one for the Great Northern Greenway, a bicycle/running trail which passes about half a block from my house.
sign in north Minneapolis at Penn and 26th, greatnortherngreenway.com

Inside the clinic itself is this poster for the Black Community COVID-19 Hotline. The poster asks, "Is your family struggling with the effects of COVID-19?" It hasn't gone away, folks, but you know that fact already if you're still reading my blog.
sign in UofM Physicians clinic in north Minneapolis, "Black Community Covid-19 Hotline"

A few blocks farther north is the corner where the new Colonial Market has replaced the former Aldi's grocery store. This new grocery includes a restaurant inside. I've had several of their burrito bowls. They're pricey, but there is a lot of food in it. The meat ones have too much meat. I'd gladly trade some of it for more veggies. I do, of course, like their vegetarian burrito bowl. It has plenty of the veggies in it. The plaza signs outside the store entrance mention a "Hub for Nonviolence & Safety". I'm not certain, but I think that's the office for the Jordan Area Community Council, and I haven't been to meetings in a very long time. Sadly, there's already a police solar-powered cart with a tall camera on it, sitting in the parking lot outside the new grocery. I really hope that grocery store stays, but I see too few people inside it whenever I go for food.
Colonial Market sign for restaurant food, burrito pictured Colonial Market "Now Open" in north Minneapolis

During a ride in the micro-route bus to the bigger Cub Foods grocery (I still need to go there for the pharmacy for my blood pressure pills), the bus passed this interesting location on Lowry Avenue. Of course, the "Freedom" sign makes it immediately suspect, since that's a bit of a conservative conspiracy theory indicator. The signs for "Jail Gov Walz" and "No Vax" don't disappoint that assumption. It takes all kinds around here. Like most metro neighborhoods, we've got both MAGAts and communists in our mixture of people.
signs on building in north Minneapolis on Lowry, "Jail Gov Walz" "No Vax" "Freedom"

So... nothing earth-shattering to report at this time. Just the flavor of my Jordan neighborhood of north Minneapolis.

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